Dr. Miranda Bailey: I have five periods. Remember them. Rule number one, don`t bother to soak up. I already hate you, it`s not going to change. Dr. Lexie Grey: [. raise your hand…] It was four rules, you said five. Miranda Bailey: I have five rules.

Remember them. Rule number one: Don`t bother to soak up. I hate you. That will not change. Trauma protocol, phone list, pagers, nurses will accompany you. They respond to each page in one go. A race! This is rule number two. Your first shift starts now and lasts 48 hours.

You are interns, grunts, no one, at the bottom of the surgical food chain. You run labs, write commands, work every night until you fall and don`t complain. Waiting rooms. They occupy the people present. Sleep when you can, where you can, which brings me to rule number three. When I sleep, don`t wake me up unless your patient dies. Rule four: The dying patient should better not be dead when I get there. You won`t just have killed someone, you woke me up for no reason. Are we clarifying? (Meredith raises her hand) Yes? Dr.

George O`Malley: I thought the Nazi was a man. Dr. Callie Torres: And because he`s my ex-husband. And because I know her mother, and I love her mother, and normally Izzy would talk to her reasonably, but she has cancer and some kind of bad mental impairment, so it`s up to me to stop her. Dr. Isobel “Izzie” Stevens: Nerves. You need to back them up. Christina Yang: The pig Meredith called a nurse. I hate you on principle. Miranda Bailey: Rule number five: When I move, you move. Dr. Miranda Bailey: [to Derek and Meredith sitting in the passenger seat of her car] Does it bother you to move that rear axle? You are blocking me.

Dr. Cristina Yang: Let me guess – you are the role model. Dr. Callie Torres: Because he enlisted in the military, don`t you think that`s a problem? Dr. Cristina Yang: [they see all the Nazis] Is it the Nazi? Dr. Isobel “Izzie” Stevens: You should follow me. Dr. Miranda Bailey: Listen to that. Everyone wants a pain-free life. And what does it bring you? It must be on a poster somewhere to remind people that the pain is there for a reason. Dr. Miranda Bailey: But her prognosis with chemo is almost as good, and honestly, if you`re worried about missing the start time, I`ll be more than happy to finish.

Dr. Miranda Bailey: Every intern wants to have their first surgery. It`s not your job. Do you know what your job is? To make your resident happy. Do I look happy? No! What for? Because my interns are whiny. Do you know what will make me happy? Having equipped the team with code, getting answers to the trauma pages, delivering the weekend labs and having someone in the pit to make the seams. No one holds a scalpel until I`m so happy that I`m Mary Freaking Poppins. Dr. Victor: [to Dr. Bailey] It`s up to you.

You take them out. Dr. Alex Karev: And you are the intrusive and arrogant kiss. I hate you too. Dr. Miranda Bailey: That is correct. Well, let`s hope she lives to “slowly pursue” another day. Dr.

Victor: It will take at least another hour. And we may not get everything. Dr. Isobel “Izzie” Stevens: Trauma protocol, phone lists, pagers. The nurses will accompany you, you answer on each side during a race. A race. This is rule number two. Dr.

Isobel “Izzie” Stevens: No, it was last year, it just came out. Listed in: Grey`s Anatomy, Meredith Grey, Miranda Bailey, Quotes, Tv Shows Dr. Isobel “Izzie” Stevens: I think it might be easier if you assign another intern. Dr. Miranda Bailey: You are hiding in the hallway? Dr. Callie Torres: Hey, I have a plan to arrest George. Are you here? Dr. Meredith Grey: Waiting rooms.

Sleep where you can if you can. You know, but not with anyone. Not present, especially not present. Sleeping with people present is not a good idea. Where was I? Dr. Miranda Bailey: You want to tell me what it was? Dr. Victor: I will talk to Richard about both of you. Dr.

Miranda Bailey: Yes. In the meantime, why not pretend you`re on this table and try it out. Dr. Isobel “Izzie” Stevens: [to George] They know they call him, *Harry lame*. Dr. Miranda Bailey: Oh, yes. I was the only female intern in my year. I didn`t know anyone and no one knew me except Joe. He knew me. Dr. Alex Karev: Your first shift starts now and lasts 36 hours.

You growl, no one, at the end of the surgical food chain. You run labs, write commands, work every other night until you fall. And you don`t complain. You NEVER complain. Dr. Arizona Robbins: Why are you trying to stop it? Dr. Arizona Robbins: You know what, you`re going to walk away from me again, I swear I`m going to grab you by the hair and pull you hard, I grew up with the name Arizona, I learned to play dirty on the playground. Dr.

Isobel “Izzie” Stevens: Bethany Whisper. I made a new announcement of lingerie Bethany Whisper, he saw it in a magazine. Dr. Miranda Bailey: Have you had time to pose for magazines? Dr. Miranda Bailey: All people think about is how to get into someone`s pants. You are bad. Dr. Cristina Yang: The dying patient had better not be dead when I get there, because not only will you have killed someone, but you will have woken me up for no good reason. Are we clear? Yes? Dr.

Miranda Bailey: I cannot do that, sir. You know what these young puppies look like. Dr. Miranda Bailey: Dr. Stevens, I can take care of that. Dr. Isobel “Izzie” Stevens: [to the Nazis] Hello, I`m Isobel Stevens, but everyone calls me Izzie. Dr.

Miranda Bailey: Well, because he saw you in a thong. Dr. Isobel “Izzie” Stevens: Nothing. He`s probably just crazy or something like that. Dr. Meredith Grey: I think she`s more of a “nice stalker.” Dr. Miranda Bailey: Izzie, it`s not in your job description. You are a doctor. He is a patient. He is your patient! Biopsy this! If they come back positive, I expect to see you in the operation. It`s your turn! Do you hear me? Grey`s Anatomy – Season 1 Episode 1: “A Hard Day`s Night” (1×01) | Produced by abc Dr. Arizona Robbins: Bailey, no, I`m talking to you.

Dr. Isobel “Izzie” Stevens: No, you told me that the most important thing is to give the patient what they want. What Humphrey wants is his erection. Dr. Isobel “Izzie” Stevens: I`m sorry, Dr. Bailey. Dr. Victor, I agree with her. You just can`t.

Nerves must be spared. Dr. Miranda Bailey: [to Cristina] An intern was reassigned, so now it`s mine. Let him follow you for the day, show him how I do things. Dr. Miranda Bailey: Dr. Victor, I`m sorry, but these are viable nerves. We should save them. Dr. Isobel “Izzie” Stevens: [Izzie lashes out at them] Maybe it`s professional jealousy.

Maybe she`s brilliant and they call her a Nazi because they`re jealous. Maybe she`s nice. Dr. George O`Malley: Uh, rule number three. When you sleep, do not wake up unless the patient actually dies. Dr. Miranda Bailey: [to Izzie] Of course, now you know, every time he has an ascent, he`ll think of you. Name/nickname required for the comment. The website is optional.